


'my love will clothe your bones'

by Odd_birds_and_booksellers



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28302195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odd_birds_and_booksellers/pseuds/Odd_birds_and_booksellers
Summary: Hailey always meant to tell Jay she loved them that day in the hospital, now maybe when the roles are reversed she actually will.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 1
Kudos: 83





	'my love will clothe your bones'

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Chicago Pd Secret Santa, my lovely recipient was @puckluck28 I hope you love it, it’s honestly kinda scary writing someone a gift who you don’t know but I tried and it’s only my third time writing for Upstead. Id love some feedback, let me know how I did.

Jay was lost in the chase, his surroundings going past in a blur as he zeroed in on the suspect heading a mile a minute down through the park. The heavy snow blanketing the ground didn’t stop him for a moment as he chased him down, he didn’t have to look behind him to know Hailey was there following closely along behind him. She was always there. 

That was what having a partner was about; he never had to check she had his back. 

He's so busy focusing on the offender he doesn’t even realise they’re on the ice until it’s too late watching as the offender stops dead at the sound of ice cracking under his feet as he turns back towards the detective with wide eyes. 

“JAY” Hailey’s voice calls out from behind him.

It all happens to quickly, the sound of his pounding heart ringing in his ears and  he can just hear the way the ice breaks away under her feet, the path is worn from where he’d just been as he spins around just in time to see the way her bright blue eyes find him, the panic reflecting in them as she disappears below the surface with a scream. 

Everything around Jay blurred as he listened to Hailey’s panicked scream escape her lips just before her body was engulfed by the shockingly cold water. The chase is long forgotten as he tried to keep his head straight, ignoring the way his heart felt like it was being ripped from his chest. He should call it in, get help before making his way over to the cracked edge but all the training and protocols go out the window as the image of her scared face from moments ago flashes through his mind and he finds himself diving into the icy depths without a seconds thought. 

* * *

The water felt like tiny, little daggers piercing her skin all at once. She intended to swim up, back to the hole she had descended from, but it was nowhere in sight. Just solid ice lay before her. The panic burned her throat as she met the surface, her hand pushing against the solid ice above her. She was trying to stay calm, stay focused and find her way out of there but she felt the heavy weight of her winter boots and coat begin to drag her down with every frantic move. 

Just when everything started to get black, she hears a second splash. Feeling two strong arms wrap around her.

She knew instantly that it was Jay, the way his arm grabbed her waist pulling her back towards the break in the ice. Hailey began to splutter as they broke the surface, Jay's arms never leaving her as he hoisted her up effortlessly onto the ice beside them, carefully guiding her over to the edge of the lake, keeping her close to his own body as he dragged them to safety. 

“Hailey...” Jay's eyes scanned her for any injury as he pushed back the wet hair sticking to her face so he could get a good look at her. He was soaked, his skin turning bright red in reaction to the below-freezing water as he kept one arm around Hailey holding her close to him. “Hailey are you okay?”

His eyes never leave hers as he catches his breath beside her, waiting for her to answer. She tries to ignore the way heat spreads through her from his body is pressed tightly against hers, she's trying to respond but the words seem trapped in her throat that still burning from the icy water. Before she knows what’s happening she’s being lifted up into his arms, and she feels his lips press to her forehead.

What happens next goes by in a blur, she can hear Jay's voice as he barks out orders to bystanders. She’s not sure where she is, her eyesight fading to black, the only comfort being that she’s still wrapped tightly in Jay's arms, he’s there, he's there with her and so nothing can ever be really that bad. At least that’s what she tells herself as she drifts out of consciousness.

* * *

When Hailey comes around a while later she finds herself in the familiar rooms of  Gaffney Chicago Medical Center . She winces as she adjusts to the bright lights of the hospital room, she still feels frozen, her brain seemingly functioning in slow motion as she attempts to sit up, moving ever so slowly, she spots Jay instantly curled up in a chair far too small for his tall stature by her bedside. 

His eyes are already on her, his intense gaze looking a little lost as he realises that she was awake. He seems to shake off the trance he was in making Hailey’s heartbeat pick up as he shuffles closer pressing his lips to her forehead, brushing her hair back as he scans her face. 

“Hi”

“Hey…” Her voice is croaky as she speaks, she tries to wiggle out of the blankets that have been placed tightly around her. 

“How are you feeling?” Jay sits back in the seat beside her but his eyes never leave hers, making Hailey squirm slightly, it was all still a little foggy, she couldn’t even remember getting here. 

“Like I ate way too much ice cream...major brain freeze.” 

“Yeah, I bet…” Jay laughs, letting out a breath he’d been holding in pretty much since the ice had broken, he’d tried to keep himself in work mode, stay focused, stay on task but it had been hard, his brain had been overdrive for the last few hours imaging every worst-case scenario. He’d felt uncomfortable when the rest of the team had shown up, Kim had praised him, even called him a hero for saving Hailey so quickly even with him being an idiot and risking his own life. But he hadn’t felt like a hero, he should’ve noticed the lake, he should've seen they were on ice before he led Hailey there. This was his fault. 

“How are you? Are you-“

He shook his head, he was fine, he’d already been checked out, the adrenaline had kicked in before he’d hit the water, it pretty much shielded him, he was fine, the physical pain was nothing compared to the pain he’d felt as she's gone limp in his arms. “I’m fine Hailey, seriously all good and warm.”

She stares at his smiling face for a moment, she knows his smile is all for show by the way it doesn't quite meet his eyes and it makes her heart hurt to knows he holding back from her. 

“You wanna know what I was thinking when I fell?” Hailey croaks swallowing hard as Jay leans forward in his chair, grabbing hold of her hand. They weren’t usually this touchy, they'd barely even hugged before, but she can’t seem to stop the words tumbling from her mouth, maybe she wasn’t thinking straight or maybe it was almost death experience but she really couldn't stop herself from telling him, especially if it would wipe that sad look from his face.

“What?”

“For a moment I thought it wouldn’t be so bad if your face was the last one I saw.”

“Really?” Jay raises his eyebrows in surprise as he scoots closer. He ignored the way his chest swells at her words because hell he's had that same thought so many times over the last couple of years, while he laid there bleeding out her face, those blonde locks and blue eyes lit up his dreams. They make him feel safe when he's not, they let him know show him the way home when he's lost. 

“Mhmm”

Hailey just smiles and he’s pretty sure it’s not his Hailey talking, or maybe it is, he knows they’ve had moments especially since she returned from New York, they both always seemed to just skate around the idea not wanting to risk losing what they already had. “I think that’s the drugs talking.” 

“No…” Hailey's eyebrows furrow as she shakes her head before the pain hits her again, winching which makes Jay chuckle as he helps her sit back, shifting her pillows behind her head. “No, I think I’m talking.”

“Oh, you most definitely are...you should get some rest, I’m gonna go tell someone you’re awake.” Jay stands carefully, his body still aching from its own frozen adventure as he moves towards the door. 

“Hey, Jay.”

“Yes, Hailey.”

“I love you…” The words fall from her mouth effortlessly, like she’d said them a thousand times before as her eyes flutter shut, leaving Jay frozen in the doorway, his cheeks flushed as he stares at her, he hadn’t been expecting her to say that. That really must be the drugs talking. “I...erm” 

“You don’t have to say it back just because I did,” Hailey mumbles her eyes still closed as she snuggles further into the bed, pulling the blankets up around her neck. “I’m gonna go back to sleep now.” 

Jay sighs stuck in the doorway, frozen. He couldn't have heard her right, there's no way Hailey Upton just muttered an I love you without being sarcastic. He makes his way back over to her bed, a slight smirk across his face as he looks down at the blonde, she has no clue just how many times she’d made his heart stop today. “I love you too...now get some sleep.”

* * *

  
“You good?” Jay hadn’t stopped fretting over her, since she'd been released. Even now as they made their way up to Hailey's apartment, Jay was hot on her tail, so close she could practically feel his hands just hovering around her waist ready to grab her at any moment. 

“Jay you don’t have to keep fussing over me I’ve got this. You heard Will I’m good, you can go home.” 

Jay scoffs as he pushes past her in the doorway, making himself at home as he plops himself down on the couch throwing his feet up on the coffee table. “Yeah, I’m not going anywhere...”

“I’m serious Jay.”

Hailey narrows her eyes on him as she leans against the kitchen island. He’d been way more overprotective then usual, he was always checking on her, making sure she was alright that's just how their partnership worked but this...this felt different, his hands were always on her, and while his touch filled her with a warmth she desperately needed right now, it also made it impossible to think straight. 

“Hailey there’s no way in hell I’m leaving you right now.” 

“Okay...thanks” 

“Of course...I’m always gonna be here Hails”

She settles beside him on the sofa letting herself relax beside him like she had so many times before, trying to ignore the unspoken tension between them as she closes her eyes, the exhaustion of the day finally taking over. 

“So…”

Hailey peers over at Jays who’s looking at her expectantly pulling at a loose thread on one of her cushions. He almost looks nervous which makes her heart plummet in her chest, she knows that look and she was hoping...praying actually that the words shed slipped out in a daze he’d just let be, maybe when she was feeling better he’d tease her and she’d be able to talk them away but right now...right now she had no excuse, right now she was tired of excuses, and it wasn’t helped by the fact that he's giving her that stupid puppy dog look, his hand reaching out for hers like he had no idea what his touch does to her. 

“So?”

“You said something in the hospital.”

“I did?”

“You did.”

“Well, what did I say?”

“You said that you wouldn’t mind my face being the last thing you saw.”

“What? That face?” Hailey exclaims gesturing towards him, her face scrunching up in mock disgust. “Must’ve been on some strong drugs I was on because nobody wants to see that stupid face.” She laughs awkwardly staring down at their intertwined hands, hoping her half deforested brain wouldn’t let her down as she made her excuses. 

Jay feigns being hurt as he clutches at his chest dramatically, falling back against the sofa. “God if I was fragile guy Hailey you’d hurt me.”

Hailey laughs, relief flooding through her because this feels like them, this is what she knows...what she loves. What she loves. He’s what she loves...and she hates this, this standing on the edge being too scared to jump. What if she had died today? She’d have never have known, he’d never have known, they’d both have been standing on the edge of something great and they'd just never know. 

“Was that it? Was that all I said?” 

“You also said…” Jay trails off, his gaze averting to the floor. Her blue eyes always seem to see right through him, and he knows right now she can read him better then anyone else can. He doesn't know what makes him bring it up, logically he knows she was drugged up, she wasn’t in her right mind she probably didn’t even mean it like that. He already knew he meant a lot to her; she probably meant she loved him like family. 

“Jay?”

“You know it doesn't really matter now.” He shakes his head, standing up abruptly, swallowing the words. “You need some rest…come on.”

“You sure?” Hailey grabs hold of his arm as he tries to pass her because quite frankly she’s tired, she’s tired of dancing around it and she wants to say it, she wants to say it when one of them isn’t almost dead. “You sure I didn’t say anything about being in love with you.”

Jay recoils, whipping around as Hailey keeps a firm grip on his arm, his eyes finding hers, that same scared look from earlier today staring back at him. “What you know?”

“Yeah I mean of course I did, I said it.”

“I thought you were out of it.” 

“Well, you thought wrong.” Hailey looks little teary-eyed as she stands letting out a shaky breath. “Look I’m not expecting you to say it back but I made a promise that if we were ever back in that hospital I’d say it...I wanted to say it that day after you’d been shot and I chickened out then and I just...I don’t want something to happen to you and never say it, I just wasn’t anticipating for it to be me laying in the hospital bed.” She laughs quietly, her gaze falling to her feet.

“But I did...I did say it back then.” Jay mumbles his hand reaching out to grab her chin lifting up because if he's gonna say it, he sure as hell needs her to look at him. 

“But you don’t have to, I mean you were just being polite…”

“Hailey shut up..." Jay cuts her off, grabbing hold of her waist. "I love you." The next second is the longest second of his life, he watches as that wide smile spreads across her face, making her eyes sparkle as she looks up at him. He can't wait another moment, his lips meet hers frantically as he feels her hands tangle at the back of his neck and he’s sure it’s never felt like this before.

“I love you,” Hailey mumbles against his lips a while later, an uncharacteristic giggle falling from her lips as he continues to pepper kisses around her face like he can’t get enough and he's not sure he ever will get enough. “Damn...I should fall through ice more often.

Jay groans, pulling back in horror as he shakes his head. “Oh no, never ever to do that to me again...my heart won’t survive it.” He jokes, laughing as Hailey rolls her eyes, before pulling him back down until his lips find hers again. 


End file.
